The Lighter Side of Transformation

Observed and reported by Lisa Wessan, LICSW

Up Next: New DBT Skills Groups on Distress Tolerance and Mindfulness in Westford, MA

#MirthMaven |

In the wake of the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, people are now becoming more acutely aware than ever of how vulnerable we all are to thoughts of self harm.  Knowing that all the success, cash and prizes, fame and celebrity connections do not make a person happy can be mind bending for many people.

In my guild, we deal with self harm and suicidal ideation regularly and know how catastrophic it can be for families and loved ones to process and cope with a loved ones’ tendency to self harm.  Plus, we each have our own dark thoughts and need to learn to be able to observe, defrost and release those negative thoughts in order to function here at Earth School.

No one is exempt from this learning curve!  This is why I am confident that ultimately DBT and Mindfulness will be taught in all elementary schools as part of the required educational curriculum.

To that end…besides my basic and ongoing daytime and evening Dialectical Behavior Skills Groups (DBT), I have been asked by several concerned parents of challenging and high risk adult children if I could form a monthly DBT support group for them.   I have also been asked by my amazing graduates of the one year basic DBT program if we could have an Advanced Group that also meets monthly…

To fulfill that request,  below are the upcoming groups that are forming to meet the personal growth needs of our community. (For learning DBT Skills from a remote location, or if you are compromised due to health issues, I also use video chat sessions  to share this work).

Daytime and Evening 14 Week DBT Skills Group on Distress Tolerance and Mindfulness: August 16, 2018 – November 15, 2018  Thursdays, 3:15 -4:45 PM or 7:30 – 9 PM.

Monthly DBT Skills and Support Group for Parents of High Risk and Challenging Children, the first Wednesday of the month, 7 – 8:30 PM.

Monthly DBT Skills for Advanced Students, the second Wednesday of the month. 7 – 8:30 PM.

Please note: enrollment is ongoing. (Sorry, no walk-ins, you must pre-register for all above groups.)

Let’s turn your defeats into victories, and your scars into stars…Yes, DBT can help you shift from being IMPOSSIBLE to I’M POSSIBLE!

Onward and Upward,

Lisa Wessan

 

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2018. All rights reserved.

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Something wonderful is happening…

As I am continuing my ongoing birthday celebration (from 4/21), yesterday a dear friend took me to see Amy Schumer’s new film, I FEEL PRETTY, which I loved.  Thank you Amy Schumer for being so brave, vulnerable, transparent and still zany and hilariously funny.  Yes, you are the carrots in the brownies…(as you shared on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday podcast recently).  So great to laugh at the absurdities and incongruities of our plump biosacks  that carry us around here at Earth School.  I FEEL PRETTY is clearly part of the required curriculum for the Liberation Philosophy for Plump People!
Brief back story…
This is how the day went…first I had a long overdue haircut at noon —  and my new hairdresser, Chloe, did an amazing job!  I left her salon feeling extremely pretty.  I even had a few tears in my chair, because my hair has been in a side-braid more often than down on my shoulders for a long time.
Here is a recent braid photo from last Sunday at the Lyric Stage Theater in Boston, MA, chatting with Eugene O’Neill after his play, Anna Christie…
Why the hair neglect? Am I too busy? Not caring? Rushing from exercise to office, no time to fuss?  Apathy?  Whatever.  I like my braid, but I have gotten some negative feedback from my sister that it is not flattering.  I wear it anyway. I know my hair looks nice when it’s down, but some days I am not able to get that together.
In Chloe’s salon chair, my tears told me that I missed that part of myself, feeling beautiful and glamorous, and desirable.  I hadn’t felt this way for quite some time it seems. I usually feel moderately acceptable, clean and neat, and I know I look ok, but this haircut took it up more than  few notches…from acceptable to awesome!
New Haircut 5.5.18
Then while I was feeling soooo pretty, I’m watching Schumer’s new film, I FEEL PRETTY, and I had a surprisingly major transformational experience!  (similar to Amy’s character in the movie, but not as dramatic. Will not spoil the story for you, just go see it!)
I suddenly get how my attitude and Belief System (B.S.)  rule my mood, energy, and activation of  this phenomenon of “feeling pretty.”  My BS determines my interpersonal effectiveness,  distress tolerance and ambition. My BS can launch me into the heights of joy and super success or drive me down a slippery slope of negative thinking and despair. For today, I have the skills to reign myself in, but the roller coaster ride of negative BS can be a huge distraction and wasteful of my time and energy.
What are the odds?  Coincidence? Or is the Universe conspiring to turn me the hell around?  Pretty haircut,  followed by seeing the movie I FEEL PRETTY, and then a new neural network explodes in my brain…it’s a G-d Job, for sure!  Best birthday gift du jour…and I know more are coming!
Yes, I get it, I am an irresistible magnet for good people, places, things to come into my life.  My energy is sheer deliciousness and I want to be with people who celebrate me, not just tolerate me…in my plus-sized body. This is just a fantastic news breaker!  I FEEL PRETTY!  YES! Full throttle, all 12 cylinders pretty. A masterpiece of creation. Much needed, part of the beautiful landscape.
Onward and Upward,
Lisa
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UP NEXT: DBT Skills Group on Emotion Regulation and Mindfulness, Westford, MA (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)

I am excited to announce the next 14-week Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills (DBT) Group in Westford, MA will be starting a new evening trimester on Thursday, April 19, 2018, 7:30 – 9 PM.

We will be covering both the Emotion Regulation and Mindfulness modules.  (This is an ongoing group that has open enrollment periods three times per year. This group is non-binary/co-ed, ages 18+, tuition fee applies/non-insurance based.)

Four leaf DBT

The Emotion Regulation module has four sections:

  • Understanding and Naming Emotions
  • Changing Emotional Responses
  • Reducing Vulnerability to Emotion Mind
  • Managing Extremely Difficult Emotions

The Mindfulness material includes:

  • Learning to be a good observer
  • Being non-judgmental
  • Staying in the present
  • Practicing being effective
  • Accessing Wise Mind (aka higher self, higher consciousness)
  • Understanding Reality Acceptance and detaching from negative or critical thoughts.

TUITION:  $630 before 3/29/18.  $700 after 3/29/18.

As DBT founder Dr. Marsha Linehan says, “It is difficult to manage your emotions when you do not understand how emotions work. Knowledge is power.”

For exact dates,  location, DBT videos and more details, please visit www.lisawessan.com or call 978.710.8039.

Onward and Upward,
Lisa Wessan

DBT Mindfulness

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2018.  All rights reserved.

 

 

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Each Day, a New Beginning

2018 New Year

Remember, each day is a new beginning, as it is written in Winnie the Pooh:

“What day is it ?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favourite day,” said Pooh.

Some days may appear to be more special than others, but in fact each day is a special pearl of a day.  Let’s love the day, no matter what…experiment in feeling an attitude of gratitude for each breath you take.

Onward and Upward,

Lisa Wessan

 

 

 

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How to improve your Interpersonal Effectiveness

The full scope of Interpersonal Effectiveness focuses on improving communication, learning to set healthy boundaries, learning to validate self and others, gaining confidence in asking for what you want,  enrolling others to help you in your dreams and goals, and letting go of toxic relationships.

 

Below is a sample of  one of my lesson plans for  Interpersonal Effectiveness.  (This is a segment from 14 classes on this topic.)

 

Preventing Compassion Fatigue

It can very often be difficult to say no to people who make demands of us, and if we say no, we can get caught up in self-critical thoughts leading us to feel guilty. To avoid feeling guilty, we just keep on saying “yes” to every request.

Someone asks us to do something: 

Say No diagram

We can learn ways of saying “No” that don’t lead us to think self-critically or feel guilty. For example:

  • I’m sorry but I really can’t take on anything else at the moment.
  • I’m quite busy right now. Perhaps another time.
  • I’d like to help you out, but I just don’t feel up to it at the moment.
  • Thank you for asking me. You’re a nice person, but I don’t want to go out with you.
  • I don’t need a new roof (double glazing, vacuum cleaner etc). I’m happy with what I have thank you.

 

IMG_0393

  • If the person seems to have trouble accepting your “No,” then just keep repeating yourself, over and over if necessary. Be a BROKEN RECORD! Practice what one of my students calls Polite Perseverance…You might have to add the word “No” to the beginning of those statements, perhaps with some emphasis on that word. For example:
  • No. I’m sorry but I really can’t at the moment.

 

IMG_0394

 

Be wary of those self-critical thoughts afterwards. Practice challenging and/or dismissing them, by telling yourself:

  • I explained to them why I couldn’t do it.
  • It’s not my responsibility.
  • It would only end up upsetting me if I agreed to it – this is best for me. If I feel less tired and not resentful, then I might be a better position to help them out next time.

They’re just thoughts – I don’t need to pay them any attention (then put your focus of attention on something else).

The following dialectic affirmations about control and esteem can be helpful for finding that balance.

  • I cannot control some things but I am not helpless.
  • I cannot control other people but I am not helpless.
  • I am not responsible for those things I cannot control.
  • I accept those things in myself that I cannot change.
  • I can make positive choices for myself.
  • My strengths and abilities deserve my appreciation. Appreciate those abilities you have.

 

Create your own affirmations by completing the following sentences:

I am not powerless, I can ___________________________________________________

I have the right to refuse ___________________________________________________

I am not helpless, I can _____________________________________________________

I deserve to _________________________________________________________________

Remember, a wise person once said “Repetition is the mother of skill…” so aim to  repeat these phrases at least twice a day, with focused energy, enthusiasm and passion!

Onward and Upward,

Lisa Wessan

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________
NOTES:

The DBT Program in my office covers these modules:

  1. DBT Core Mindfulness [focusing skills]
  2. Distress Tolerance [crisis survival skills]
  3. Emotion Regulation [de‐escalation skills]
  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness [‘people skills’]

During class, we role play the act of saying “No” and turn these into powerful “Moves” to help you build new neural networks in your brain. We combine neurology, physiology and cognitive restructuring to do this, and sometimes add music and dancing to ramp up our energy. This  helps you develop a fresh new response more easily and will become your “new normal”  response to people’s inappropriate or untimely requests.

** For more information, please visit www.lisawessan.com.

 

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2017. All rights reserved.

 

 

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Westford, MA: New DBT Skills Groups (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) start 10/26/17 and 12/14/17

dbt-skills

Good news! For those of you who have been waiting to get into one of our DBT Groups, there are several openings in our daytime DBT Skills Group starting October 26, 2017,  Thursdays from 3:15 – 4:45 PM at my office in the beautiful Westford Center for Counseling and Holistic Therapies, 234 Littleton Road, Suite 1D, Westford, MA.

This group is co-ed/non-binary, mature teens, trans and adults welcome, and is limited to 10 participants per group. One initial consultation  with me is required prior to joining the group, plus the completion of some DBT Skills registration forms. To get started, click HERE or call me at 978.710.8039.

For this next trimester, we will be studying Mindfulness and Distress Tolerance from the DBT Skills curriculum.

Why do I teach DBT Skills?

Over the years, I have seen outstanding evidence of how DBT helps to rewire our brains with gentle cognitive restructuring exercises, reduce inflammatory thoughts and untangle our irrational beliefs and interpretations — which cause so much pain and suffering — all in a relatively short time span.  DBT is Solution Focused Therapy at its best!

DBT includes powerful and easy relaxation techniques for anxiety; a large array of tools for depression and mood issues; and effective communication and boundary setting skills which make this a brilliant vehicle for interpersonal effectiveness, peak performance and personal growth.

Four leaf DBT

ANNUAL OVERVIEW

[This is a one year program divided into three 14-week trimesters. Students decide to renew their commitment towards the end of each trimester.]

Each trimester delves into Mindfulness plus one of the remaining three main modules of DBT, which are Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation and Interpersonal Effectiveness (see diagram above). We repeat the Mindfulness module at the beginning of each semester to reinforce the powerful foundational skills it offers for general anxiety (Kabat-Zinn et al, 1992).

 

2017 – 2018 GENERAL CALENDAR

 [Dates are subject to change, due to snow days and other factors.]

UP NEXT: Daytime Group: October 26, 2017 – January 25, 2018. Mindfulness and Distress Tolerance.  Practical tools and skills are explored to process “crisis” emotions, impulse issues and more difficult feelings. We also cover Radical Acceptance, Turning Willfulness to Willingness, and moving from destructive self-harm to positive self-care (especially useful for the “Holiday Red Zone,” Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve!)

Evening Group: December 14, 2017 – March 29, 2018.  Mindfulness and Interpersonal Effectiveness. Through discussions, readings and interactive exercises you will be learning to set healthy boundaries, learning to say “YES” when you mean yes and “NO” when you mean no without worrying about getting others’ approval.  You will  learn how to become bulletproof to others invalidation of you, and learn to be a self-validating person.  The art of asking for what you want and negotiating well  is also explored. In addition, we study various forms of interpersonal protection, e.g. emotional safety skills, learning to identify  Energy Vampires (Orloff, 2004) and recover well from their hurtful and draining interactions.

Daytime and Evening Groups: April – July 2018.  Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation. Learning to identify your vast array of feelings, articulate them and express emotions appropriately is part of this powerful work. Also, learning to check the facts, edit misinterpretations and assumptions, and turn down the volume on your intense emotions yet still experience them. You will learn to regulate your emotions successfully, so that you have a more positive experience of feeling better and stronger.

TUITION

Each trimester is $700 for 14 weeks (watch for the Early Bird rate which usually expires two weeks before each trimester).

** It is a requirement of this group that participants are working with an individual therapist while they attend the group. The therapist does not need to be me, nor does the therapist need to be trained in DBT, but will be available for all processing outside the group. (Release forms will be sent to you and/or your therapist after the Initial Consultation with me).

I hope I can be of service to you, your clients or loved ones who would benefit from this group in the greater north Boston/Nashoba Valley area.

Learn more about the details of this DBT Skills Group by visiting my web site, www.lisawessan.com.  Also, please feel free to contact me for further information.

Onward and Upward,

Lisa Wessan

 

DBT Mindfulness

__________________________________________________________________________
References

Kabat-Zinn, J., Massion, A. O., Kristeller, J., Peterson, L. G., Fletcher, K. E., Pbert, L., et al. (1992). Effectiveness of a meditation-based stress reduction program in the treatment of anxiety disorders. American Journal of Psychiatry, 149, 936–943.

Orloff, Judith, MD. (2004). Positive Energy.   New York: Random House.  Chapter 9, The Ninth Prescription:  Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires.  288 – 318.

Copyright © 2017 by Lisa Wessan. All rights reserved.

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Decompressin’ with Wessan: Walk and Talk Therapy comes to Chelmsford, MA

LW WATT

Since I changed careers in 1999,  morphing from science journalist to therapist, I feel as if I have given birth to three clinical children in this journey…

First, I delivered Therapeutic Laughter for Caregivers (and others) in New York City, which emerged as keynotes, workshops and seminars.  I still enjoy presenting these programs which also include Team Building with Laughter, the Let Go and Lighten Up program and LaughAnanda (laughter meditation).  Each program serves a different sector, for corporate, medical/healthcare, educational, non-profit, and spiritual organizations.

Second, after a long gestational study period,  I delivered Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Groups (DBT) two years ago and currently facilitate two DBT groups in my office in Westford, MA, one daytime and evening group.

Third, and brand new as of June 2017, Walk and Talk Therapy (WATT) was born.  I am very excited about the progress and results my clients are experiencing during WATT.

Over the past several years, every time I read about exercising with clients, I was more intrigued…yes, there is solid science and empirically verified research on the benefits of WATT.

In brief, the motion of walking stimulates the bicameral brain and increases activity between the left and right hemispheres.  This allows people to access more complex feelings and memories, and have the ability to process the sadness, grief or trauma even more effectively while walking. While walking, everything is flowing, and the negative or heavily charged energy from the  traumatic memories can discharge quicker.  (I’m in the process of writing an article on a few of my clients who have had dramatic shifts and turnarounds on these walks.)

RISK MANAGEMENT

I have my clients sign an Indemnity Agreement prior to the WATT, and we discuss the possible challenges that may occur, such as tripping on a rock, or falling for some reason.  For some, this often leads to a lively discussion of their previous adventures and how confident they are in their walking ability.  “Walking around a lake? This is nothing, a piece of cake!”  they say.  For others, the prospect of walking for two miles is daunting, but they understand they can do as much or little of the walk as they want.  We have a choice of several benches for resting along the way with stunning views of the lake.

If you are considering WATT, I strongly recommend it.  As the Scottish-American naturalist John Muir once said, “In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.”

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2017.   All rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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New daytime DBT Skills Groups starts Thursday June 8, 2017 in Westford, MA. This group is co-ed/non-binary, mature teens and adults welcome…

We will be studying Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation from the DBT Skills curriculum. This class will be held on Thursdays, 3:15-4:45 PM,  in the beautiful Westford Center for Counseling and Holistic Therapies, in Westford, Massachusetts. (One initial consultation is required prior to joining the group, plus the completion of some DBT Skills registration forms.)

dbt-skills

Over the years, I have seen the strong evidence of how DBT helps to rewire our brains, and reduce the inflammatory cognitions and irrational beliefs and interpretations which cause so much pain and suffering. So I am passionate about teaching DBT Skills, and truly believe it should be offered to all adolescents.

DBT has powerful and easy relaxation techniques for anxiety; a large array of management tools for depression and mood issues; and brilliant communication and boundary setting skills which make this an amazing vehicle for interpersonal effectiveness, peak performance and personal growth.

Each 14 week course delves into Mindfulness and Dialectics plus one of the remaining three main modules of DBT, which are Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation and Interpersonal Effectiveness. We repeat the Mindfulness module at the beginning of each semester to reinforce the powerful foundational skills it offers for general anxiety (Kabat-Zinn et al, 1992).

UP NEXT FOR 2017-2018
FALL – WINTER – SPRING – SUMMER OVERVIEW

Fall 2017- Winter 2018 trimester: Mindfulness, Dialectics and Distress Tolerance (especially useful for the “Holiday Red Zone,” which is fraught with unique challenges and conflicts, including severe Compare and Despair Syndrome).

Winter – Spring 2018 trimester: Mindfulness, Dialectics and Emotional Regulation. Learning to identify your vast array of feelings, articulate them and express appropriately is part of this powerful work. Also, learning to turn down the volume on your intense emotions yet still experience them is most empowering.

Summer – Fall 2018  trimester: Mindfulness, Dialectics and Interpersonal Effectiveness. Through discussions, readings and interactive exercises you will be learning to set healthy boundaries, learning to say “YES” when you mean yes and “NO” when you mean no without worrying about getting people’s approval.  You will  learn how to become bulletproof to others invalidation of you and as you become a self-validating person.  The art of asking for what you want and negotiating well to get it is also explored. In addition, we study various forms of interpersonal protection, safety and skills to identify your Energy Vampires (Orloff, 2004) and recover well from their hurtful interactions.

TUITION

Each trimester is $630 for 14 weeks. (There is no insurance for this psycho-education program. Useful statements can be provided, however, for your Flexible Spending Account or as a business expense for taxes, as this is also considered a skills training program).

** It is a requirement of this group that participants are working with an individual therapist while they attend the group. The therapist does not need to be me, nor does the therapist need to be trained in DBT, but will be available for all processing outside the group. (Release forms will be sent to you and/or your therapist after the Initial Consultation with me).

I hope I can be of service to you, your clients or loved ones who would benefit from this group in the greater north Boston area.

Learn more about the details of this DBT Skills Group by visiting my web site, www.lisawessan.com.  Also, please feel free to call or email me for further information.

Onward and Upward,

Lisa Wessan

________________________________________________________________________________________
References

Kabat-Zinn, J., Massion, A. O., Kristeller, J., Peterson, L. G., Fletcher, K. E., Pbert, L., et al. (1992). Effectiveness of a meditation-based stress reduction program in the treatment of anxiety disorders. American Journal of Psychiatry, 149, 936–943.

Orloff, Judith, MD. (2004). Positive Energy.   New York: Random House.  Chapter 9, The Ninth Prescription:  Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires.  288 – 318.

Copyright © 2017 by Lisa Wessan. All rights reserved.

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Moving towards wholeness with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills Group, Thursday evenings in Westford, MA

Grateful Plug:

I am pleased to announce the next 14-week Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills (DBT) Group in Westford, MA will be starting a new module on Thursday, April 6, 2017.  We will be covering both the Mindfulness  and Emotion Regulation modules.  (This is an ongoing group that has open enrollment periods three times per year.)  At this writing, there are two spots left for the next trimester.

The Mindfulness material includes:

  • Learning to be a good observer
  • Being non-judgmental
  • Staying in the present
  • Practicing non-multitasking
  • Accessing Wise Mind (aka higher self, higher consciousness or other spiritual beliefs, e.g. Christ Consciousness, HaShem, Atman)
  • Understanding Reality Acceptance and detaching from thoughts.DBT Mindfulness

The Emotion Regulation module has four sections:

  • Understanding and Naming Emotions
  • Changing Emotional Responses
  • Reducing Vulnerability to Emotion Mind
  • Managing Extremely Difficult Emotions

 

#MirthMaven |

As DBT founder Dr. Linehan says, “It is difficult to manage your emotions when you do not understand how emotions work. Knowledge is power.”

For dates, fees, location and more details, please visit www.lisawessan.com

Onward and Upward,

Lisa Wessan

 

Copyright © by Lisa Wessan 2017. All rights reserved.

 

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[TIME SENSITIVE] Please call Dept. of Justice today…Practicing Radical Acceptance AND Taking Action!

Displaying IMG_1956.JPG

I just did this. It took about a minute. Let’s act!

If you heard the news about Russia’s influence affecting the previous election and would like your voice heard …

The Department of Justice is tallying phone calls regarding those who want the 2016 vote audited. A shift of just 55,000 Trump votes to Hillary in PA, MI, & WI is all that is needed to win. They are starting to recognize there really is something off about the election results as they came in. Considering everything that is at stake, a vote audit should be done.

** Call 202-514-2000, choose option #4, and leave a message for the Attorney General’s office.  Just state your full name, that you are a US citizen, where you live, and that you would like to add your voice to all those calling for an audit of the 2016 presidential election. **

These things are tallies. Recording time is short. Make it easy for them. They don’t need a long winded message.

SHARE THIS, SPREAD THE WORD. Please copy and paste; do not just hit share.
I just made the call myself, and it went right through. This took two minutes of my time at the most. It was fast and easy. You can do something right now!
Then copy and paste this to your page or any of your group pages. Thanks!

 

 

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